Last night we went out to dinner. Not an earth-shattering occasion for most people, but a pretty significant one for us. We had planned to go to the Schenectady Christmas parade, but the thought of standing outside for hours in below zero windchills was somehow not that appealing. There's only one parade I'm willing to stand outside in the cold for and that's not without a little help, but that's a blog entry for another holiday!
Now going to a restaurant to eat was one of the those things that was not even possible a couple of years ago, since even the most kid-friendly menus still didn't have anything on them that Sam would eat. Add that to the stress of having to keep Sam occupied at a table sitting down for an hour or more, his difficulty understanding why he had to communicate in a "quiet" voice, and you have a recipe for disaster that was just not worth the trouble of. The whole point of a dinner out is to relax and enjoy your meal while appreciating the company of those who accompany you. It's not an occasion that lends itself well to mental gymnastics or creative parenting exercises. So we gave it up for quite a while. (truthfully, when it came time for belt-tightening with the current economic situation, it was nice that dining out wasn't one of those luxuries we had to give up, cause it was already gone!)
We made reservations at the Italian American Community Center's restaurant since we had a gift card to use up. The place was virtually deserted when we arrived (a good strategy for when you don't know how it's gonna go is to go early!), but quickly filled up. We got the best table in the restaurant, right in front of the fireplace. I was armed with plenty of computer-printed puzzle and coloring sheets (Thanksgiving themed about one of Sam's current obsessions, the "Gilbert" series of books by Diane DeGroat- such a cute series- check them out! www.dianedegroat.com)
To make a long story short, we enjoyed a wonderful meal. We had a very attentive waiter who was friendly and had some great recommendations, Sam was completely engrossed in his word search puzzle for most of the time we waited for our food (he even made a few word searches of his own when he was done with the printed one). The food was excellent- very fresh and delicious. Sam loved his pasta and sauce and drank a huge glass of milk. At the end of the meal, we had cannollis, dad sipped a cappuccino, and I finished my wine, all the while having a pleasant conversation with Sam about school and his friends there. I don't remember feeling any apprehension or stress at all during the time we were in the restaurant, in fact the evening seemed to get better as it went along. (ok- maybe the wine helped a little) On the way home, we listened to Christmas music in the car and critiqued the songs we heard, all three of us, TOGETHER.
I guess this is what co-regulation is all about. Lately I have been feeling like Sam is less of a by-stander in the day-to-day operations of our house and more of a participant. Sure sometimes he's off in his own world and I have to remind him to do something more than a few times, but overall I feel like his existence plane is closer to ours now than it ever has been. I'm hoping we can have more experiences like last night, cause each one encourages me to try more.
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