I'm handling it.....

I often wonder if parents of NT children constantly push themselves to improve their parenting skills, as I find myself frequently doing. I guess it would depend on the individual parent. In my brain, the wheels are always turning, and how to improve my parenting effectiveness is an oft-visited subject. I guess I feel like if I'm not always thinking of ways to "tweak" how things are going on the home front, I perceive myself as not doing my job. I also secretly worry that people are going to see me as weak, ineffective, lazy or just plain dumb. If I could wish for one thing, it would be to rid myself of this burdon. I'd like to expel the feelings that I have that make me want to explain myself, detail what we are doing to improve this or that behavior, narrate what plan we have to develop communication. I wish I could just realize that I am a caring and involved parent, I AM trying hard, I AM CAPABLE!!! I am my own worst critic. I sometimes intrepret people's silence or lack of encouragement as criticism. When I speak of the efforts Tom and I have made, are making, will continue to make, and get little or no feedback, I think back to the old statement our mothers used to make to us "If you can't say something good, don't say anything!" I misinterpret silence or alleged indifference as a negative. In fact, I'm sure what's going on is very similar to what happens when someone dies, or is seriously ill. People on the outside respond with an awkwardness born of dealing with a situation they don't have to handle every day. They know they care, but they are not sure how to communicate this without saying something they perceive as stupid or unfeeling. I sometimes feel like people don't know what to say to me. Well, to take a page out of the Asperger's book, here are some suggestions.
"It's clear that you are trying hard to do the best for Sam." "I admire how much thought you put into your decisions where Sam is concerned." "It really shows how dedicated you are to being a great advocate for your family." "You are really doing a great job- keep it up!" I know that parents of NT children don't get any praise for how they are raising their child, either, but sometimes it's nice to get a little cookie thrown my way to sustain me over the next hurdle. I'm working harder at this than at anything else I've ever done in my life, because this means more than anything else I've ever done. That stakes are a lot higher, and as Tiger Woods says "Failure is not an option."