Friday, June 20, 2008

Summer beginnings.....

We have a bike rider! Thanks to my fellow blogger, http://thismom.blogs.com/this_mom/ (as if my blog even belongs in the same universe as hers- read for yourself!), Sam in now riding his bike! Without training wheels, without anyone holding on- just by himself. Stopping and turning we'll work on later! The New York City "Teach your Child to ride a Bike" program http://www.bikenewyork.org/education/classes/images/bny_learn_to_ride.pdf was really a great idea! A great thing about this is the now Sam knows how to start out by himself, one foot on the pedal, one foot on the ground, use your "ground foot" to get going, then find the second pedal. He'll be in great shape for bike camp in two week. He'll get to take advantage of a 1 1/2 hours a day for a week for practice.

Another new thing for the summer is I've got a new job! After a few months of soul searching thought, I decided my library job wasn't really what I wanted to do with my life. I enjoyed some aspects of it, but mostly I ended up doing things that I didn't even like doing, and for very little in the end, both pay and satisfaction wise. So I started dreaming of maybe getting a position doing some kind of genealogy research. I did some looking around the internet, and actually found a job being advertised by a company in Syracuse. The original job post was for more hours than I wanted to work, and it was for someone to work in Syracuse, plus by the time I saw the ad, it was a month old. So I sat on it for awhile, did a little research about the project, then decided to contact the person in charge of the project to see what the prospects were for volunteering. (figuring I'd get my foot in the door). Well, she was very interested in having me help out. Turns out they are in need of someone in the Albany area who is famliar with the repositories to look things up for them on an as-needed basis. We talked for about 1/2 hour on the phone. On my end, the project sounds just like what I'd be very interested in working on, not to mention the polar opposite of what I'm involved in now. Well organized, arranged in stages, specific areas being worked on, etc. The project coordinator is taking a couple of weeks to mull over where I might best fit in, and we are going to meet in Syracuse on June 30, while we are "vacationing" at camp.
I'm excited about this opportunity. One rarely hears of someone working in a genealogical or historical capacity for pay of any kind, but usually when someone is paid, it's as a private, free lance researcher. I'm not that interested in doing that kind of work. I'm more interested in being part of a team, working on a project that may actually get published and come to some kind of culmination someday. I'm looking forward to getting a closer look at their project and seeing how I can contribute. To get an idea of what some of the project is all about, check out this video:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid464120979/bclid1230998918/bctid1119221736

I'm really looking forward to this summer. I feel a sense of settlement, like all of us are doing what's right for us. Sam going to summer school with familier kids and teachers, Tom back to work pain free for the first time in ages, me with my new job! I'm excited about spending time with special friends and family and having fun! Last summer we ran ourselved ragged- this summer we have a little slower pace planned, but many opportunities to make memories! Hope summer looks bright from wherever you are too!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Family ties

Today we got to see some pictures and videos of Carol's graduation from the University of Texas. She's a doctor now! While it's a very proud moment for the Doughertys to have a doctor in the family, I feel a bit sad for having missed the event, and, indeed, not even grasping the importance of it in the hustle and bustle of every day life around here. Seeing the pictures of 4 of the Dougherty siblings together and knowing Tom was not there reminded me of how far apart we all are, both in distance and in life. I have six cousins with whom I grew up very closely, and I rarely see them anymore. We were as close as siblings, seeing each other frequently throughout our growing up years in the 60's, 70's and into the 80's. Now, I know people grow up, move away, marry and have their own families, but the reality of long-cherished ties growing looser with the passing years is one that distresses me on a regular basis. I so often feel that keeping in touch with those that have been and are dear to us could be something akin to a full-time job. You often have to know when to let friendships go- you can't hang on to everyone forever.
It's supposed to be different with family, though. Blood is thicker than water, that's what is claimed. I know I have myself to blame for a lot of the neglect of the past few years. Sometimes it's just EASIER to be with friends from everyday life who know our situation, are used to it, and don't bat an eyelash when Sam crashes the wagon down the hill for 50th time. I often feel lots of anxiety before attending a family event because I wonder what these people who are so dear to me are thinking about me and my parenting skills. How can they possibly know what it's like to pick yourself up, get back on the horse, and try a big gathering that is bound to make Sam hyper with all the excitement, noise and people? Things aren't like they were in the old days. Lots of times it's just easier to avoid things.
To everyone's credit, I can tell that people try to be tolerant. This is a lot better than the horror stories I hear about other families with kids on the spectrum. Some people simply don't get invited to family functions, or don't choose to go because they are not sure how their kids will handle it. It all leads to feelings of isolation- like how I felt when I didn't see Tom in those graduation pictures.
So really what it all boils down to is this- I need to develop a thicker skin. I have to have the attitude that these very dear people are my family! They may not verbalize it to us, but they do support us, and if they don't, then they aren't the same people we grew up with. They can't understand what our life is like because they don't live it, but they can show us kindness and respect, and understand that we are truly doing the best we can.
I just wish everyone in both of our families could know Sam as Tom and I do. Intelligent, caring, fun-loving, focused (yes, believe it!), oblivious to the crap in the world, optomistic, and loyal are just a few of the words I can use to describe this very unique child! My life has truly been enriched by our experiences over the past 7 years. I hope I have your support for the next 7 and beyond!