Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The last days of elementary school

Well, we've made it.  The last days of elementary school are here.  The last couple of weeks have been fairly emotional for Sam, and it's starting to catch up to me finally, too.  I am relieved to be experiencing this with very few regrets, and in a good headspace to tackle the big changes ahead.  A year ago I would not have been feeling this way, so I guess its good that things are timed the way they are.
Sam has enjoyed this year of school, the first year I feel like he has really been involved on anything other than a very personal level.  This year it became more about the school itself, his classes and the friends he's made.  The fact that he is feeling sad about leaving this school and the people he's come to know over 3 years indicates that he's growing up in a lot of ways.  Another year of elementary school might make that awareness even greater, and might make those ties stronger.  But we don't have another year.  Time marches on and middle school waits for no one.
I know it will take Sam time to get used to middle school- how long is hard to say.  The changes will be profound- faster pace, more demanding schedule, social pressures.  I am nervous about those changes and how he will deal with them.  His coping skills are many times better than they were at his last transition, and what's even better, I know that I can work with him to improve them further still.  Nevertheless, the first year will most likely be filled with challenges that we don't even see coming on the horizon. 
I used to think of middle school as a black hole where kids got sucked in and just had to make it through the experience as best they can.  I now look at it a little differently as far as Sam is concerned.  He has always, developmentally, done things that were atypical from other kids- like mastered skills meant for older kids at an earlier age, never had fears like many children do, etc.  So there is no reason to think that since middle school is miserable for many kids, his experience might be the polar opposite.  I feel like he is on the verge of really breaking out of some of the things that have held him back before- and I hope the Mrs. Walter's class is going to be just the thing to help him keep on that path.  Nurturing enough so he feels safe and supported, but challenging enough to keep him working hard and wanting to do it.  There looks to be some positive student role models in the class, and my hope is that he will emulate them and follow their lead.
I'm sure there will be a few tears saying goodbye this week- but I feel good about moving forward.  We have made some good, educated decisions that should yield good results and if not, effective damage control.  It isn't often I get to feel this way about impending changes, so I am just going to trust my gut and hope it doesn't steer me wrong.   

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Middle school bound!

I've been very neglectful about posting, but I guess the only way to explain that is that things are going along pretty well.  This blog has served as my outlet for venting about problems and frustrations, and I'm happy to report that both are at a minimum at the moment.  I know I usually post about my anxiety during the annual review process, but this year it has been notably absent.  I attribute that, in part, to being well prepared to handle whatever came our way.  We started this process over a year ago, when we could see the middle school transition on the horizon.  We took a serious look at whether we should move or not, hired a very expensive consultant to tell us what was lacking in Sam's program and where he should be to make the transition easier, had quite a few meetings with teachers about how to improve his academic performance, and spent hours and hours on homework and building school work skills in general.  So it pays to be prepared, even over prepared.  I now feel like I have a much clearer handle on what Sam does in school, where he needs help, and where we need to go from here.  But, it was kinda nice to go along oblivious for a year or two!  That said, I doubt I will be that dis-attached again.  It doesn't pay to let it go, only to have to play catch-up later.

Another reason for the low stress level in this process is the CSE person we've been dealing with, D.  I remember thinking when she took over the job when Sam was starting 4th grade that I was glad  it was not the transition year and that I would have to be dealing with a new person right away.  I went to her with my concerns and hopes for the future at the end of last year, and since then she has been very receptive, proactive, genuinely concerned, and effective in helping us advocate for Sam.  This has been a very welcome development- while I feel that overall we have been treated fairly by our school district, I would say that prior to D taking over the job, most of the hard work was done by Tom and I.  I feel that D has made this into more of partnership.

You always hear that that is how the special ed system is supposed to work- parents, teachers and administrators coming together to craft a plan that is in the best interest of the individual child.  Judging from all the horror stories we hear at Friday Knights and various support groups, this is rarely the case.  Everyone has their own agenda, and they are usually vastly different.  Sometimes it shakes out like parents and teachers vs. administrators, or parents vs. teachers vs. administrators.  I'm seeing how lucky we are, because I feel like through the series of meetings we have had this year, we are probably as close to being on the same page as is possible.  Improvements have been made to Sam's academic program, his social goals, his mainstreaming- all because of this partnership.  He is doing well with it.  That makes everything worth it- I'm glad this process has been so positive and has worked so well, it seems, for everyone.

Our annual review meeting is scheduled for May 6.  I'm prepared- Sam is heading to a middle school program where he will have the support he needs, the opportunities he can take advantage of, a teacher who is recommended by many, and the support of the team behind the scenes.  I'm glad the system is working for us!