I think for one 24 hour period, I'd like to know what it's like to be the mother of "normal" 4th grader. I normally hate that term, and avoid it's use, but given my frustration level at this moment, it's probably pretty accurate. Now I know that life isn't perfect for anyone. As a friend in college was so often heard saying "We all have our crosses to bear." I know that people out there in the "normal" world also experience their frustrations, but just for one whole day, I'd like to experience a day without the following:
1. That upon summoning the child out of bed, I won't get growled at or yelled at.
2. That I wouldn't have to hear "I don't want to go to school" several times before 6AM.
3. That conversations between Tom and I over coffee would not be interrupted.
4. That there would be no complaints about chunks in the breakfast yogurt.
5. That no prompting to get dressed would be needed.
6. That all materials for the school backpack, coats and shoes would not have to collected by me first.
7. That I would not have to worry all day about how things are going in school.
8. That I would not have to get an email at 2PM from the teacher about Sam's bad day.
9. That I would not have to worry about how to handle the situation in school, knowing I should somehow address it, but having no idea what kind of thing would even make a difference.
10. That I wouldn't feel as if I am re-inventing the parenting wheel each and every day.
11. That I could count on the fact that all coats, shoes, backpacks, etc would be put away when arriving home from school.
12. That I would not have to hear in excrutiating detail every nuance of every Thomas the tank engine story.
13. That an idea I have about an activity to do would not be met with negativity.
14. That I would not have to make an entirely seperate meal from what I'm already cooking.
15. That I would not have to hear endless whining about not being able to go first playing Wii, or not winning at Wii.
16. That major anxiety attacks would not accompany bedtime (yes, the last thing had going for us seems to have fallen by the way side too!)
17. That I would not have to wonder for the millionth time if my son was ever going to be able to live as a productive adult.
18. That Sam has no friends that he has made on his own, and doesn't seem to "get" that his crappy behavior makes a negative impression on others.
Writing it all down doesn't help. This is the holiday fun I am dealing with. I hate to bitch- it makes me feel guilty, cause so many I know have it so much worse. Those dealing with disease, several mental or physical handicaps, drug abuse, alcoholism or a host of other issues. I'm sane (barely), Tom is sane (sometimes too sane) and we are dealing with HIGH functioning autism here. Days like these make me wonder what is just so "high" about it.
