Thursday, April 2, 2009

Somtimes I feel like I'm dealing with Helen Keller....

And today is one of those times. Everyone remembers the story of Helen Keller, who was blind and deaf, and her teacher, Ann Sullivan, who became the one to finally free her from her world of isolation. I sometimes feel like Sam is unreachable. I struggle during these times like Ann Sullivan must have struggled, having the knowledge as teacher about what she wanted to teach, but unsure about how to get the information to her student. Sam is going through a period right now where he is obviously struggling with something internally. It's manifesting itself in escalating behaviors at school, back talk and screaming at home, and basically melt-downs at every moment when he is challenged or frustrated. I wish it were a matter of being able to sit him down and ask him what is bothering him. It's almost like he doesn't conciously know that something IS bothering him, let alone put it into words. Instead, little things that don't ordinarily cause distress (like a trip to get a hair cut) produce a 1/2 hour standoff and tantrum. I feel like I continuously search my brain for some way to get through to him during these episodes. I feel so inept- what can I do to help? We try to tighten up on the limit-setting, we try to spotlight good behavior, we try "re-sets". Still the short fuse remains. It kills me when I get to the breaking point, when I've heard screaming for the 10th time in one day, when I hear him arguing with everything anyone says, when the expectation sheet comes back from school with yet more dashes. I pray constantly for strength to be able to ride it out. I pray that I can someday do what Ann Sullivan did- find a way to penetrate a pretty stubborn wall of resistance.