Well, Tom and I have reached an epiphany of sorts on the road to realizing success with RDI. We've actually come to realize that WE are going to be the ones driving this. It's not gonna be absorbed by osmosis, it's not gonna be something we wake up one day and know how to do, it's not gonna be something we read on-line. WE HAVE TO DO IT!! Duh! This seems like so simple a concept, but really we haven't been living it, although we've been "doing" RDI for a few months. With Tom home all the time, instead of getting on each other's nerves (well, ok, that does happen occasionally), we've actually been talking. About important issues. Like parenting.
With Theresa's guidance, we've even come up with things we need to work on with regard to setting real limits with Sam.
Surprise, surprise, Sam's been ruling the roost here for several years. (Maybe even since 3/4/2001!) I think we are finally realizing that the RDI guide/apprentice thing just isn't gonna work here in our house until the adults gain control. It's eye-opening when you finally realize that a lot of the so-called problems you are having with your child are largely of your own making. Theresa is very supportive and doesn't allow us to beat ourselves up over what we've BEEN doing, in fact she's thrilled we are coming to this realization and is eager to help us move forward.
In the past few months, I have gotten a taste of how impowering it feels to take action when some misbehavior is occurring, as opposed to sitting idly by and wondering what to do, or feeling guilty about doing something, or losing my temper, or any number of inappropriate things.
So, we decided about the things we could not tolerate any longer-
1. Back talk (which seems to have diminished since instituting the time-out policy a month or so ago)
2. The messes left all over the house that never get picked up.
3. The wandering around during a meal.
4. The trouble separating from me when I leave to go somewhere, or put him to bed (lately).
It's time to get tough and adopt a zero-tolerance for these things. For my part, I really have to work on being more consistant. Every time something crops up, we have to deal with it- turn off the TV, get off the computer, get off the phone and deal. Same action everytime. For Tom's part, he has to learn to stop making idle threats. We have to have dialogue, and support each other.
At least we've gotten to this point. It feels good to realize. It's gonna be hard work, and I hope I'm up to the task.
