The other day as we were driving home from camp, I pointed out to Sam how some of the leaves on the trees were already changing color. He commented that he loved to watch the change of the season, and that fall and winter were his favorites. From an adult perspective, I have always loved fall for its beautiful colors and cool temperatures, but I don't love what it leads to- cold and snow. The change in the seasons has occasionally been a difficult time for us. A change in season often brings with it a change in scenery- starting school, ending school, major holiday, or vacation. I have to admit I never took much notice of how much changing seasons affected us until I had a child with Asperger's.
Growing up in New York state, seasons changing just goes with the territory. You get so used to winters being cold and snowy, springs being all about mud, summers sometimes hot and humid, other times less so,and falls being cool and very colorful, that you barely notice anymore. When Sam was very young, we went through life pretty much oblivious to the seasons, until he started school, which was the beginning of the end for us. I remember very much resenting being a slave to the school schedule- and it just made it worse to have school be such a negative experience for us for the first few years. I honestly didn't get into the "It's the most wonderful time of the year" attitude until Sam was in second grade at least! Anyway, change has since been tricky for us, so we always approach this time of year with cautious optimism, at least until we have reason to either go into panic mode or realize that everything will be ok.
Sam is beginning fourth grade this year in the same school, same room, with the same teachers as last year. The only thing missing is familiar friends. There is only one returning student from his class last year, a kid who joined the class in the spring and who Sam is not thrilled with. I know he had some anxiety about encountering this student again because he was said to have been "bossy and yelling at me." I try to point out that people can change over the summer, and that this student may be so glad to see someone he knows in the class, he might not be so bossy. That Sam tends to be bossy and overbearing himself is also something I try to (diplomatically) point out. I also remember a lesson from last year- "You don't have to be best friends with everyone, but you do need to try to get along." The very kid he clashed with early in the year last year ended up being a favored friend by the end of the year, and sorely missed during summer school.
So while there are bound to be bumps along the transitional road from summer to fall, I am feeling somewhat hopeful that this year will be a tranquil one. I, and others, have seen tremendous growth from Sam this past year, indicating that this is the right placement and team for him, and that the efforts that Tom and I are putting forth are really showing results. This makes me want to work harder, and hopefully see a second year of growth. This is the first year I sent Sam to school with goals with talked about together over the whole summer- make a bring home type friend, and be the smartest kid in the class. I'm committed to helping him realize each one!
